Hello! I hope you are having a great day :)
So something really strange happened to me earlier. On my way back from the post office (exciting life I lead), I was stopped by a guy.
'Hey, I just saw you walking down the street. I am looking for a wife and you have potential. What's your name?'
I was so shocked and immediately embarrassed that I didn't say anything and desperately tried to find a way to escape without being too rude.
'Oh okay. Erm I'm sorry but I have a boyfriend.' (I really hoped he would leave me alone if I said that, and I mean - you would think that he would?!)
'That's okay! I can pretend to be your gay best friend.'
It was at this point that I started to feel very uncomfortable. 'No.'
'How old are you? And how old do you think I am?'
'Ehh I don't know. Sorry I have to go now.'
And then I left. He started yelling 'Stop! Wait!' but I didn't turn around and just continued walking.
Thing is that I have absolutely no idea how to react in these kind of situations. If a guy came up to me and said 'hello' and wanted to start a conversation in a friendly, non-intense kind of way, I really wouldn't mind. I would feel very flattered. But this was just a bit too intense from the start - Why would you approach a girl saying that you are looking for a wife? Isn't that a step too far?
Also, how strange for anyone to just assume that a girl would like being told that she has 'potential' to become his wife??
I honestly felt like I had entered some kind of casting. No thanks.
Is there a 'right' way to react instead of being all confused and embarrassed like me? It was such an awkward and surreal experience and I still don't know how I should feel about it.
Let me know what you think. xx
Wednesday, 18 March 2015
Tuesday, 17 March 2015
Unhealthy Friendships
Hello everyone, I hope you're doing well :)
This time last year I spent most of my time hanging out with a group of people who I considered my friends. We met at university, did the same course, lived in the same uni accommodation and, so I thought, had loads in common. I thought I was happy. In hindsight, I really don't think I was: I was so convinced that such a group of friends should really be all I wanted, so surely that meant that I was happy..?
Deep down, I probably realised that I was trying very hard to fit in by pretending that I was someone I wasn't. I went out with them and ignored the fact that I wasn't really enjoying myself. I told myself that this was fun, because…why shouldn't it be?
I stayed up late, chatting about all sorts of things that I can't even remember because I just had no interest in them. Even when I was enjoying myself, I was restless, constantly worried that I would say or do something wrong, that I would lose them if I said that I didn't want to go out.
It's very hard to describe how I felt around them because I certainly wasn't unhappy as such. Maybe the best word for it is 'numb': I talked about things that I didn't really care about and ignored what I did care about. I went along with being friends with them, doing the things friends do, baking, shopping, watching films, going out. But I never felt like I was understood. I never felt like I could be completely myself and I certainly never felt like they inspired me to be a better version of myself. I felt accepted, but not for being a very interesting me, but for being a me that I thought they wanted to have as a friend.
To say it again, at the time I thought I was happy, because I had interpreted how I was feeling around them as happiness. As incoherent as this sounds, I was somewhat happy with actually being unhappy. After a whole year of university, things started to change. Things happened which changed my whole perception of my 'friends' resulting in me completely distancing myself from them.
I thought I would miss being part of this group. I thought I would be very lonely and completely unhappy. In fact, I was so scared when I had to go into a lecture and didn't know who I was going to sit next to because I all of a sudden realised that I hadn't really made an effort to make any friends outside that group.
Luckily, I didn't end up sitting by myself in a corner, crying because no one wanted to talk to me. The opposite happened: People who I had briefly spoken to the year before started to approach me and just said 'hello' and asked how I was doing. Faster than I could have imagined, I was having conversations with people who I felt happy around and where I could be myself. For the first time in over a year, I didn't feel like I had to pretend.
This was last September. Since then, I have made new friends who I can be completely honest around. I am no longer tagging along, dealing with not being happy because that's what I thought I should do. I do what I want to do. I have conversations with people who like me for who I am, who like me even if I openly admit that I'd rather stay in and eat popcorn than go out and drink.
That group of 'friends' I had was, to me, the prime example of an unhealthy friendship. It didn't do me any good and it's only now that I truly appreciate how much better I feel without them, how much more 'me' I can be without worrying about not fitting in.
Whoever is reading this, think about the friendships you have. Listen to yourself. If you are only keeping them going because you feel like you should do that, then think again. And most generally, don't ever just stick with something because you feel obliged to.
It will make you feel numb.
xx
This time last year I spent most of my time hanging out with a group of people who I considered my friends. We met at university, did the same course, lived in the same uni accommodation and, so I thought, had loads in common. I thought I was happy. In hindsight, I really don't think I was: I was so convinced that such a group of friends should really be all I wanted, so surely that meant that I was happy..?
Deep down, I probably realised that I was trying very hard to fit in by pretending that I was someone I wasn't. I went out with them and ignored the fact that I wasn't really enjoying myself. I told myself that this was fun, because…why shouldn't it be?
I stayed up late, chatting about all sorts of things that I can't even remember because I just had no interest in them. Even when I was enjoying myself, I was restless, constantly worried that I would say or do something wrong, that I would lose them if I said that I didn't want to go out.
It's very hard to describe how I felt around them because I certainly wasn't unhappy as such. Maybe the best word for it is 'numb': I talked about things that I didn't really care about and ignored what I did care about. I went along with being friends with them, doing the things friends do, baking, shopping, watching films, going out. But I never felt like I was understood. I never felt like I could be completely myself and I certainly never felt like they inspired me to be a better version of myself. I felt accepted, but not for being a very interesting me, but for being a me that I thought they wanted to have as a friend.
To say it again, at the time I thought I was happy, because I had interpreted how I was feeling around them as happiness. As incoherent as this sounds, I was somewhat happy with actually being unhappy. After a whole year of university, things started to change. Things happened which changed my whole perception of my 'friends' resulting in me completely distancing myself from them.
I thought I would miss being part of this group. I thought I would be very lonely and completely unhappy. In fact, I was so scared when I had to go into a lecture and didn't know who I was going to sit next to because I all of a sudden realised that I hadn't really made an effort to make any friends outside that group.
Luckily, I didn't end up sitting by myself in a corner, crying because no one wanted to talk to me. The opposite happened: People who I had briefly spoken to the year before started to approach me and just said 'hello' and asked how I was doing. Faster than I could have imagined, I was having conversations with people who I felt happy around and where I could be myself. For the first time in over a year, I didn't feel like I had to pretend.
This was last September. Since then, I have made new friends who I can be completely honest around. I am no longer tagging along, dealing with not being happy because that's what I thought I should do. I do what I want to do. I have conversations with people who like me for who I am, who like me even if I openly admit that I'd rather stay in and eat popcorn than go out and drink.
That group of 'friends' I had was, to me, the prime example of an unhealthy friendship. It didn't do me any good and it's only now that I truly appreciate how much better I feel without them, how much more 'me' I can be without worrying about not fitting in.
Whoever is reading this, think about the friendships you have. Listen to yourself. If you are only keeping them going because you feel like you should do that, then think again. And most generally, don't ever just stick with something because you feel obliged to.
It will make you feel numb.
xx
Wednesday, 4 March 2015
#DearMe - as inspired by 'The Smart Culture'
This post is inspired by 'The Smart Culture' .
Her post really made me think and made me want to share my own version.
Dear little me,
How is secondary school going?
Alright?
"Kind of?"
I see.
You hate P.E. because you are very bad at it and are always one of the last to be elected into the teams, which upsets you.
You don't want others to think that you are uncool for actually quite enjoying your English and Biology lessons. You want to be cool. So you hide how much you love reading and writing.
This is because those popular kids don't like school. They intimidate you, but secretly, you want to be like them. You are afraid that they find you lame and will start saying mean things behind your back. Or your face, actually. One of them said that he found your new haircut ugly. He also pointed out the spot you desperately tried to cover up fiddling with your mum's concealer for absolute ages.
Hey, look.
Some people will not like you. And you know what? That is perfectly fine. No matter how nice you are to them, they will still not like you. Some will say mean things. Some will laugh.
You don't need those kind of people. Stay away from them. I know that this will sound crazy to you, but they might not necessarily be very happy, just because they are 'popular'.
But you know what? You will be happy.
Being ambitious and imaginative isn't a bad thing at all. In fact, people will find that, alongside the fact that you are friendly, fascinating about you.
Stop trying to be someone who you are not. You aren't very rebellious, nor do you particularly enjoy lying or breaking rules. You still won't do in your second year of university. To be honest, you probably never will. Again, this doesn't make you boring.
You will, and I know that you cannot imagine that right now, be told that you are pretty. You will even be asked out on dates. You will receive nice compliments that you will treasure and smile about.
You will be okay, little me. Life will not always be easy in the next few years, but your journey has only just begun.
Before you ask - no, you won't have met your soulmate by the time you are in your second year of university. You won't have planned your wedding.
But guess what.
You will still have your dreams.
Love,
You.
Her post really made me think and made me want to share my own version.
Dear little me,
How is secondary school going?
Alright?
"Kind of?"
I see.
You hate P.E. because you are very bad at it and are always one of the last to be elected into the teams, which upsets you.
You don't want others to think that you are uncool for actually quite enjoying your English and Biology lessons. You want to be cool. So you hide how much you love reading and writing.
This is because those popular kids don't like school. They intimidate you, but secretly, you want to be like them. You are afraid that they find you lame and will start saying mean things behind your back. Or your face, actually. One of them said that he found your new haircut ugly. He also pointed out the spot you desperately tried to cover up fiddling with your mum's concealer for absolute ages.
Hey, look.
Some people will not like you. And you know what? That is perfectly fine. No matter how nice you are to them, they will still not like you. Some will say mean things. Some will laugh.
You don't need those kind of people. Stay away from them. I know that this will sound crazy to you, but they might not necessarily be very happy, just because they are 'popular'.
But you know what? You will be happy.
Being ambitious and imaginative isn't a bad thing at all. In fact, people will find that, alongside the fact that you are friendly, fascinating about you.
Stop trying to be someone who you are not. You aren't very rebellious, nor do you particularly enjoy lying or breaking rules. You still won't do in your second year of university. To be honest, you probably never will. Again, this doesn't make you boring.
You will, and I know that you cannot imagine that right now, be told that you are pretty. You will even be asked out on dates. You will receive nice compliments that you will treasure and smile about.
You will be okay, little me. Life will not always be easy in the next few years, but your journey has only just begun.
Before you ask - no, you won't have met your soulmate by the time you are in your second year of university. You won't have planned your wedding.
But guess what.
You will still have your dreams.
Love,
You.
Monday, 19 January 2015
Yoga Challenge - IT'S DONE
Hey everyone!
Yes, I've done it. For the past month, I have done a bit of yoga every single day, which means that the 30 Day Yoga Challenge is now completed.
Like I said in my last post, I am honestly very proud of myself for sticking with this. I can quite easily commit myself to something whole-heartedly, but sometimes I tend to lose interest after a while, especially when it comes to exercise.
Now - what difference has this actually made? I would be lying if I said that I was, all of a sudden, a whole new person who is extremely flexible and fit.
I'm not, and I never expected to be after a month only.
BUT a few things did change:
1. I am more flexible than before.
2. I can sleep better. I never had massive issues going to sleep or anything, but I have noticed that I tend to fall asleep quicker and feel more energized when waking up. I think this is mostly due to the fact that I have consistently been doing exercise every day about an hour before going to bed, so it has become part of a nice routine of switching off in the evening.
3. I am better at dealing with homesickness. Although I have lived away from home for a while now, I always find it hard to go back to uni and especially when I've had a bit of a rubbish day or don't feel too well, I can get homesick quite easily. I'm not sure why this is, but going back to uni this year has felt easier than usual - no, let me rephrase that: not necessarily easier in itself, but easier to deal with. Now, that could just be because of growing up, being a year older, all that kind of stuff, but I do believe that yoga played a part in it, as well.
4. Body confidence. This is something I have definitely noticed. Again, I never had serious confident issues, but everyone gets those days where they feel very insecure. Last year, I had quite a few of those days and since starting yoga, they have kind of stopped.
5. General happiness. Again, I'm not a completely transformed person. I am not suddenly cheerful 24/7 (although I think that this would be quite unusual anyway). However, I have, since starting yoga, felt much more energized and yes - happy.
So yes - thank you, Yoga Challenge. I'm quite amazed about how much it has helped me (because I never truly believed that it would make a difference). I decided that I would try and redo the challenge, because I don't want to stop now :) I definitely still have yoga goals to reach (touching my toes for a start - still not quite there yet), so I will continue with it.
Have a great evening xx
Yes, I've done it. For the past month, I have done a bit of yoga every single day, which means that the 30 Day Yoga Challenge is now completed.
Like I said in my last post, I am honestly very proud of myself for sticking with this. I can quite easily commit myself to something whole-heartedly, but sometimes I tend to lose interest after a while, especially when it comes to exercise.
Now - what difference has this actually made? I would be lying if I said that I was, all of a sudden, a whole new person who is extremely flexible and fit.
I'm not, and I never expected to be after a month only.
BUT a few things did change:
1. I am more flexible than before.
2. I can sleep better. I never had massive issues going to sleep or anything, but I have noticed that I tend to fall asleep quicker and feel more energized when waking up. I think this is mostly due to the fact that I have consistently been doing exercise every day about an hour before going to bed, so it has become part of a nice routine of switching off in the evening.
3. I am better at dealing with homesickness. Although I have lived away from home for a while now, I always find it hard to go back to uni and especially when I've had a bit of a rubbish day or don't feel too well, I can get homesick quite easily. I'm not sure why this is, but going back to uni this year has felt easier than usual - no, let me rephrase that: not necessarily easier in itself, but easier to deal with. Now, that could just be because of growing up, being a year older, all that kind of stuff, but I do believe that yoga played a part in it, as well.
4. Body confidence. This is something I have definitely noticed. Again, I never had serious confident issues, but everyone gets those days where they feel very insecure. Last year, I had quite a few of those days and since starting yoga, they have kind of stopped.
5. General happiness. Again, I'm not a completely transformed person. I am not suddenly cheerful 24/7 (although I think that this would be quite unusual anyway). However, I have, since starting yoga, felt much more energized and yes - happy.
So yes - thank you, Yoga Challenge. I'm quite amazed about how much it has helped me (because I never truly believed that it would make a difference). I decided that I would try and redo the challenge, because I don't want to stop now :) I definitely still have yoga goals to reach (touching my toes for a start - still not quite there yet), so I will continue with it.
Have a great evening xx
Thursday, 15 January 2015
Only 3 days to go - A Yoga Challenge Update
Hey everyone!
Over the past few days, I've not been posting about the Yoga Challenge as regularly as I used to because I was busy with uni, so I thought I would give you a more general update instead of talking about the challenge day-by-day.
In fact, although I've not been posting about it, I have actually continued the challenge which means that today was Day 27 out of 30. It is crazy how quickly this has gone - in the beginning I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to stick with it and that I would just lose motivation at some point and stop. And yes, it wasn't always as easy as I wanted it to be; sometimes I honestly felt like not doing it, but this Challenge was something I had wanted to do for a long time so I forced myself to continue.
And all of a sudden, I am on Day 27 and there are only 3 more days to go. This is crazy. I still cannot quite touch my toes, although I have come pretty close today, but there is still some time left and just seeing the improvement makes me happy.
I will be back with another yoga blog post once I have completed the challenge. Keep your fingers crossed that all will go to plan and I will be able to actually finish it now that I'm so close! xx
Over the past few days, I've not been posting about the Yoga Challenge as regularly as I used to because I was busy with uni, so I thought I would give you a more general update instead of talking about the challenge day-by-day.
In fact, although I've not been posting about it, I have actually continued the challenge which means that today was Day 27 out of 30. It is crazy how quickly this has gone - in the beginning I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to stick with it and that I would just lose motivation at some point and stop. And yes, it wasn't always as easy as I wanted it to be; sometimes I honestly felt like not doing it, but this Challenge was something I had wanted to do for a long time so I forced myself to continue.
And all of a sudden, I am on Day 27 and there are only 3 more days to go. This is crazy. I still cannot quite touch my toes, although I have come pretty close today, but there is still some time left and just seeing the improvement makes me happy.
I will be back with another yoga blog post once I have completed the challenge. Keep your fingers crossed that all will go to plan and I will be able to actually finish it now that I'm so close! xx
Wednesday, 14 January 2015
Songs that I've been loving: January 2015
Hey everyone!
What's better than starting off 2015 with some new songs to get you through the dark winter months of January and February?
Like my previous music post, this will feature loads of different genres because I personally think that there is something fascinating about every single one of them.
I hope you enjoy, and here we go:
Ludovico Einaudi - Life
I'm in love with Einaudi's music, both to listen to and to play on the piano. I chose this piece to recommend to you because I think that it is perfect for a new year: There is so much variety in it (just like life itself, I reckon) which is incredible for making you feel energized and inspired.
Hozier - From Eden
I have been obsessed with Hozier's voice ever since listening to 'Take me to Church' for the first time. What fascinates me about this song is how beautiful and honest the lyrics are. The melody is very catchy, too, which means that I sing along every time. I also love 'Work Song', which is also on Hozier's album, and 'Arsonist's Lullaby'.
James Blunt - Satellites
I got my mum his album for Christmas so I've been listening to it a lot when I was in the car with her. I've never been a massive James Blunt fan, but this album is so relaxing and easy to listen to. 'Satellites' it's a great feel-good song with great rhythm and melody. It's recipe is simple: It cheers me up, is easy to listen to and catchy. I also love 'Face the Sun' from the album, which is a song that starts off very slow and then gradually builds up to an incredibly energetic mid- to end part.
AronChupa - I'm an Albatraoz
This song is very different to anything I would usually listen to. When I heard it for the first time, I immediately loved and hated it at the same time. I'm yet to fully decide what I think about it, but it's definitely catchy and I find myself humming the melody pretty much constantly.
BANKS - Beggin for Threat
Last, but not least, I have fallen in love with BANKS. Her voice has such a deep, warm tone to it that it's very hard not to like her songs. 'Beggin for Threat' is great if you are looking for a powerful song to sing along to.
Let me know what you think about the songs that I've been loving lately. I would love to hear any recommendations you might have because I'm always on the search for new music to listen to xx
What's better than starting off 2015 with some new songs to get you through the dark winter months of January and February?
Like my previous music post, this will feature loads of different genres because I personally think that there is something fascinating about every single one of them.
I hope you enjoy, and here we go:
Ludovico Einaudi - Life
I'm in love with Einaudi's music, both to listen to and to play on the piano. I chose this piece to recommend to you because I think that it is perfect for a new year: There is so much variety in it (just like life itself, I reckon) which is incredible for making you feel energized and inspired.
Hozier - From Eden
I have been obsessed with Hozier's voice ever since listening to 'Take me to Church' for the first time. What fascinates me about this song is how beautiful and honest the lyrics are. The melody is very catchy, too, which means that I sing along every time. I also love 'Work Song', which is also on Hozier's album, and 'Arsonist's Lullaby'.
James Blunt - Satellites
I got my mum his album for Christmas so I've been listening to it a lot when I was in the car with her. I've never been a massive James Blunt fan, but this album is so relaxing and easy to listen to. 'Satellites' it's a great feel-good song with great rhythm and melody. It's recipe is simple: It cheers me up, is easy to listen to and catchy. I also love 'Face the Sun' from the album, which is a song that starts off very slow and then gradually builds up to an incredibly energetic mid- to end part.
AronChupa - I'm an Albatraoz
This song is very different to anything I would usually listen to. When I heard it for the first time, I immediately loved and hated it at the same time. I'm yet to fully decide what I think about it, but it's definitely catchy and I find myself humming the melody pretty much constantly.
BANKS - Beggin for Threat
Last, but not least, I have fallen in love with BANKS. Her voice has such a deep, warm tone to it that it's very hard not to like her songs. 'Beggin for Threat' is great if you are looking for a powerful song to sing along to.
Let me know what you think about the songs that I've been loving lately. I would love to hear any recommendations you might have because I'm always on the search for new music to listen to xx
Monday, 12 January 2015
A (short) rant about London in the rain
Hey everyone!
The weather in London is pretty miserable
at the moment: it’s very windy and rainy, so umbrellas are popping up
everywhere. Massive puddles become a dangerous free shower possibility for
everyone who walks too close to the road (busses and cars, I’m looking at you).
And as always, everyone you see looks grumpy and done with the world.
I cannot say that I particularly enjoy this
weather either. In fact, I’ve probably been quite grumpy myself this afternoon
when I walked back from a lecture, hungry and annoyed by the weather. Yet, it
could be a lot worse. It’s not too cold, only about 12 degrees which means that
the wind is annoying, but doesn’t make you want to stay in bed all day with a
hot cup of tea. Also, by the fact that there ARE umbrellas everywhere you can
tell that the wind isn’t too dramatic
either.
Most people - me included - don't enjoy being out in the rain. However, that doesn’t mean that I accelerate
my bus or my car right before driving through a big puddle when there are
people walking close to the road. It also doesn’t mean that I hold on to my
umbrella and barge through a crowd of people without thinking about potentially
hitting them in the face.
That is exactly what happened to me today.
I had to hectically jump because I could hear a bus approaching with such speed
that I would have been soaked from head to toe, and I felt like I was
constantly trying to avoid being hit by someone’s rampaging umbrella.
That’s all I have to say. What a fascinating blog post on the weather…I know. :')
But I’m sure you can empathise. Yes, bad
weather is unpleasant, but it doesn’t make anyone’s mood better if people are extra
inconsiderate. xx
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